At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
