She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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