Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
