you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
