I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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