Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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