I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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