im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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