let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Let's paint friendship bongs
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
