Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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