The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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