bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
