Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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