yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
