Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
