she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
