Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
