you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
