Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
