Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize