I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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