you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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