we have officially lost it.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
