love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
