Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it glows. i had to have it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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