Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
