oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
