i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
