thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize