What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
