Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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