did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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