Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
