i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
