fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The air taste purple.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
