Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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