She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
