somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize