I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
