she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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