is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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