Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
