I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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