At least make sure they are 18
Why
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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