how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
