ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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