If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
