You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
