If that was your dad, he is hot
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
