i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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