I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
