Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
