no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
