Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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