I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
