I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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