You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
zippers are such a cool invention
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
