i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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