So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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