Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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