try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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