this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
