would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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