we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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