Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
