How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
