Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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