It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
