i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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