Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
