Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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