I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
